Can progressive illnesses lead to Progressive Recovery?

Progressive wellness

I heard something the other day. I heard that the disease of Alcoholism/addiction is a progressive disease. This very simple statement invoked a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. It stopped me in my tracks really and for a number of evenings (somewhat too busy during the days, yet never too busy for meetings and staying in the now) inspired me to review this sentiment a little more deeply. This however was not the 'just' of the statement. Conversely, there is also HOPE. HOPE for progressive recovery from the depths of alcoholism and addiction. HOPE for change. HOPE for a better more grounded spiritual life. HOPE for educating self and others to the atrocities caused in part by the disease but also about the sheer power of indulgence in sobriety.

The program states that in order to have a spiritual experience and assume all the wonders/promises of recovery; people like US need only to change one thing: EVERYTHING. Relieve old ideals. Smash our ego. Smash our what, our ego? Since when does anyone really look closely enough at themselves to interpret their ego. To dig deep enough into their past and present points of view, ideals and interactions with people to truly see their true colours. Are we doing things for recognition, to impress, for prestige? Are we doing things to help others, simply to be a beneficial part of another persons day? Many would say; well hell, my daily life is just fine. I go to work, do my job, look after my children, have fun and don't hurt other people. But do we really know that for certain? Are we fulfilled? Do we fulfill others? Hopefully this causes you to look within the way that I have HAD to. No, I was not restrained and forced to do this. Conversely, however, this process was a suggestion. Merely a single step of the twelve (mentioned previously) that if followed and worked into my daily life would allow me to be freed from the slavery of alcoholism.

Heading off to assist others...no thanks required

I never really thought that I had a ego. Well at least not an ego that was harmful to self or others. I must say however, through a great deal of introspection, tears, turmoil, self resentment and heartache, I have never been happier and felt so free than I do today despite some hurdles to still overcome. Relationships to mend if meant to be. Progressively recovering one day at a time. Quite difficult to look in the mirror at the JEM of old. The not so SimplyJEM and be ok with that person and the ego that stood in the way of sobriety. Stood in the way of others. Stood in the way of healthy or healthier relationships. Sure; that not so SimplyJEM had wonderful moments. Loved and was loved. A great person who did wonderful things for others, often not for recognition but truly to assist. However, the ego was there. Dress to impress, or at the very least to hide the fearful side of myself. Hide the hurt and uncertainly. Hide the addiction. To fully concede to the ideal that my ego ruled me and hurt others is a painful realization.

Today, I simply turn to my higher power. My God. The being that I turn to for guidance. Turn my self and my will over to Him before making decisions. Make decisions based solely on how and if it will be beneficial to the next person. Yes ; it must be beneficial to myself too, however it will be beneficial to me spiritually. Regardless of who is watching. Beneficial for all the pure reasons. No longer do I have to hide decisions. Worried about who will see or find out. Here it is. All of me. The good, the not so good and now the best. Best; not egotistically but best in mind, body ad spirit. Best not because that is what I think YOU want or wish to see. Best; because it is what He would wish to see.

Will the progressive illness of addiction/alcoholism become overshadowed by a progressive recovery? Will good be triumphant over evil? Who prevails; Jekyll or Hyde? The man or the alter ego? In this case; my case, SimplyJEM is simply that. SimplyJEM. A man who has smashed the ego to allow the birth of a spiritually sound person wishing to help and educate others to the effects of an awful illness. A disease that has the tendency to take lives in an emotional, spiritual and sometimes physical sense. I simply wish to be...ME. This is an on going daily reprieve. With a lot of work, dedication, prayer, meditation, resolve and not to mention a wonderful support system (you know who you are), progressive recovery does occur if you work it...daily.