Destruction or Strength?

"When you face difficult times, know that challenges are not sent to destroy you. They're sent to promote, increase and strengthen you." Joel Osteen.

Difficulties. We (as in all of us...each and everyone of us) are not immune to difficulties. We all experience trying times in our lives; for some more often and demanding than others. Often times, these obstacles are a direct result of the choices that we make in an instance or on a daily basis. Many of these, what feel like atrocities; will with guidance, humility and learning, allow us to grow as people. If we constantly strive for progress, our transgressions can permeate into positive reinforcement for our younger generations.

The reason for beginning this blog and trying to reach out to others; yes is for those like me. The alcoholic. The addict. The fearful. The resentful. Those persons (JEM) who have put their family through hell while they too were going through a hotter possibly more devastating demise. Yet, with that in mind; I too do this to bring awareness. To educate the 'normal' person. There may be those too that are reading this that have wondered perhaps if they too have 'contracted' this disease or even yet, those in denial. Whichever person you identify as (and deep down you know the answer to this as I did), education and awareness is of utmost importance.

I have alway said that in my professional life, our mandate as funeral directors (because you cannot teach true empathy), is to educate the public. (I just sensed now, for the first time , that the premise of my career ; death just like alcoholism/addiction are both subjects that are taboo to most). I have attempted professionally to educate the public as to their options in regards to funeral services and now I am adorned with the hope and a platform to educate as to the horrific nature of addiction. What it does to the suffering alcoholic and in turn how it is disastrous to all those that love us.

There are some (most in fact) that would say that we are to blame for any outcome resulting from our addiction. There certainly is no denying that. I have come to accept the consequences, not a fun task at all but a must. I have come to be truly humbled by each and every one of these outcomes. The disease is cunning, baffling and powerful. We could be sober for days, months, years and for some cunning and baffling reason, BAM the devil attacks. Regardless of who you are, where you are from and how strong we may think we are the devil wins. For me, I have come to learn that if I am not practicing the principles of a 'very simple program', the devil who is just waiting in the next room has the perfect opportunity to swoop and destroy.

A disease however. Similar to most, we don't know when we will be affected. We may be unaware of the symptoms. There may be minimal distinct consequences of the disease at first. It's insidious in nature. Slow to grow but devastating in the end. God knows (and my family can certainly attest) that the affects of alcoholism in conjunction with dereliction of the program of AA brought me to my knees, maybe worse. I no longer liked who I was (well this had been building for years). Alcoholism destroyed the ego of JEM. Smashed it to tiny little pieces, but this was much needed. I couldn't hide behind the suit and the confidence I had in my professional daily life any longer. JEM was on the brink of destruction. It was either life or death (literally...but that's a story for later). Going back to the original quote, conversely to its premise; it certainly felt as though the challenges were sent to destroy me.

I am happy (and proud) to say that I am the strongest that I have ever been. Stronger that I ever thought possible actually. To my amazement, the challenges did what they were supposed to do. Those challenges and their outcomes continually allow me to examine within. They have allowed me to dig deep. Transcend years of guilt, self loathing, selfishness. Peel back a very tough onion to see what was really inside. They have allowed me to promote more positive avenues. While teaching myself and being taught by others, I too am helping others and this provides me the strength for another sober 24 hours.

There is hope. Hope, even for those of us that believe we are hopeless against the sheer power of addiction. While the choices that we have made are less than favourable, please take a look within. Contempt prior to investigation can be as devastating to others as are the choices that we have made as people. Addicted people yes, but people nonetheless. Contempt prior to investigation again, is really just a lack of education. A selfish act and one of ignorance.

Please try to be kind. Be kind and before you pass judgement on the addict/alcoholic under the bridge sleeping with their bottle who may too be the 'well put together ' guy in a suit, remember that true power is in education. This is strength.