Going, going, going...GONE.

Since a small boy, the thought of owning a motorcycle had always provided happiness and sexy dreams. "Every young boy needs a motorcycle", my late grandfather would say. Riding along in the car with my parents, I was mesmerized when the roar of the bikes rolled up beside the family sedan. The look of those men on their hogs was sexy to me...free. No cares in the world except that their bike was immaculate and that they looked 'cool' on their ride. Atleast that's what was important to me at the time.

Time passed, life happened (don't worry...all of that is coming) but always this insatiable desire to swing my leg over a seat, turn the key and watch other's expressions as my Harley first screamed and then chugged. The romanticizing evolved to yearning and then finally, the dream of that imagined freedom became an obsession. A drug of sorts that I couldn't shake regardless if it was within reach or not. It had a grip on me, but this grip did not hurt anyone. You will come to see that this was rarely the outcome later in life.

The dream came true! The day I received my M1, was the day the 2005 Harley Softail Springer, affectionately referred to as "Cinci" was delivered to my Lakefield residence. Within a half hour I was on the bike and on the road with my neighbour the now late Herb. I was hooked. From the smell of the exhaust (which reminded me of my Dad's 75' Camaro), to the wind (and bugs) hitting my face, the grip tightened around me that I thought would never end. I had worked countless hours, dedicated my life to the funeral home and service to families while (now regrettably) my own family rarely saw me for dinner or before the next morning. Yes; another obsession: work (some may say 'workaholic). But I had my Harley. My first trip was to Marymount Cemetery in Guelph to 'show' my grandfather the bike every young boy should have. And to boot; its style and grace was modelled after his 42 Indian.

Fast-forward ten years. Today was a very difficult day. Both a day of joy and sadness. Love and lost dreams, affection and resentment. A day of a true amends. A way to shed some of the past. Devilish behaviours made right. At the very least...steps in the right direction. It was a different time. A time where selfishness prevailed. Times that I no longer wish for. 'Remember When' moments. Don't get me wrong, some wonderful times involved that material good. The time was right however. The time was now. In a way; for me to show that I can give back by simply giving of myself. By releasing some of the past, for 'cleaning my side of the street' allows me to pave the way to the infamous 12 step-journey that I continue to walk on a daily basis in ALL that I do. Another way to (re)commit to a sober and serene life to better serve my God and myself. With these two commitments I thereby commit to Joanne and all of those that I love while along the way developing true and legitimate friendships. I would love to say that monetarily this is just gravy cash, but it certainly is not. This is another way to give back. Give back to home and household, family and self. A way to bridge the gap of the money spent.

Will I ever again, experience my wife's arms wrapped around me while freely riding the highway? (For those who have yet to experience this, I truly recommend it). I do hope so. I hope that I/we can experience this again but during a much more simple time. A time where truly, cares will melt away. Where we can 'just be' for however long that ride is. A time where she is not holding on for dear life but a time where that grip is more passionate. All I do know however is that is tomorrow...a day that I cannot control. This day is in His hands. Thy will (not mine) be done.